Five things to do if you are feeling lonely in a new country
You have recently moved to a new country, miles away from home, all by yourself. Bravo! You have also settled in terms of accommodation and job. Take a bow! Everything looks fresh and glamorous in this dream city of yours, until loneliness hits you. It hits you without warnings, right on your face, in the middle of the street. It doesn’t care whether you are in a crowded summer festival, or you are gazing at the new year fireworks. Binging on Netflix or eating scoops of ice cream with brownie doesn’t work in the long run. If you have felt this and looking out for ways to come out of it, I got some experience in this area to share with you. I moved to Canada in 2020, all by myself to start a new life. I am gradually building up my social circle here which is a must for every expat! Here are my top five to lift your spirits and pull yourself out of loneliness:
1- Volunteer: Giving back to the community takes your attention away from yourself to others who need help for a greater cause. Helping people in need makes you feel grateful. It also comes with a feeling of belongingness when you are in a group working together for a common cause. You don’t need special skill set for this. It can be as easy as distributing a meal. Besides, volunteering also grooms your personality. You will become more confident when talking to strangers and appear more approachable. Think about devoting sometime of yours to any volunteering job that suits your interest. Start exploring programs on your city’s website, church or library, Red Cross/The Salvation Army/YMCA or old age homes. It might just have a waiting period.
2- Reach out to people: It can be hard sometimes to come out of your comfort zone and reach out to people you don’t know very well. Being introverted demands a lot more but trust me it helps. I signed up for meetup and expat groups and joined clubs as per my interests. For me it was hiking, running, stand-up comedy and game nights. I got to meet people who had similar stories and background. It’s possible you might not connect in the first event. But keep trying, put your real self out there and you will find likeminded people who will eventually become your friends. Take a stock of people you already know from your home country or through friends. Suggest meeting over weekends to go biking/hiking or simply reading/chatting. If both of you like each other’s company, then make more plans and include more people. Host gatherings at your place once you are comfortable. After few months/years you will have a bunch of people you can call friends who are like family. Remember to take the initiative to reach out first and one day you will find your pack.
3- Find and follow your passion: Spending more time with yourself comes with some perks. You have the time and mind space to think about your own passion and interests. If you don’t know where your passion is keep trying out new activities till you find the one. Indulge yourself in a sport, join a gym or a book club, go for group yoga class, dance class or music class or prepare for a marathon. I am a regular at park yoga during summer. I love playing ping pong and regularly go for group fitness classes in the gym. I plan to join tennis and squash clubs this summer. I discovered my long-lost passion for painting during wintertime. Bottomline- Use this lone time to discover what you love!
4- Get outside: Get outside your home, get some fresh air. A change of environment distracts you and helps dull the ache of loneliness. Travel as much as you can afford. I discovered a few group tours/guided tours that takes me to places in and around my province over the weekends. Besides, I walk a lot. Like a lot. It helps me to discover new places in the city while staying fit. Invest in sturdy sports shoes, carry a book and a bottle of water, and venture out to find your own favourite spot in the city.
5- Write it down: Writing my thoughts helped me all this time. Remind yourself your story, why you moved, what are your goals, your achievements and how brave you have been all this time. Write down your top 5’s or 10’s that lifts your mood instantly. It can be anything like a funny video that makes you laugh every time, your favourite food, baking, running, getting your nails done or just having a cup of tea. Save it in your phone or keep your notes someplace visible to you. Collect good memories in a photo gallery dedicated just to make you feel better and revisit them when you feel the need to.
Remember not to blame yourself, not to put any pressure, not to hide your feelings, stay busy but also keep in touch with family/friends back home. Last but not the least, think positive. Sometimes you need to be alone for your soul to grow.
Love and Peace!
